To Whom It May Concern At The Worst Television Network in America:
NBC, you officially suck. And having spoken to at least four other hockey fans I can say that all American hockey fans hate you too. Regardless of our feelings for The Office, we all hate you with extreme, vehement abhorrence.
I feel like I'm about to tell off that dick from high school that thought he was the best, but that nobody really liked at all. I almost feel like I did when I wrote Domino’s to tell them their new pizza recipe still tasted like ketchup mixed with sawdust, then cooked, dropped on the floor into more sawdust, washed off with a garden hose and stuck in a box made of the same materials. This time I only have one piece of news that most Americans are already aware of: NBC sucks. Surprise, surprise, this is only an American problem. Canadians you can stop reading now and go back to worrying about the Russia – Canada Quarter Final match tonight.
People of America, you have spoken…and NBC already hasn’t listened. Don’t expect NBC to realize that they are a pitiful excuse for a television network. Conan already knows this, I’m sorry if you don’t. We won’t get money for nothing, and we certainly won’t get our NBC: at least not on time.
Look, I understand. Curling was cute and unique and all the rage four years ago. Then again, so were skinny jeans and nobody finds those quite so amazing anymore. Americans don’t care anymore, NBC. Get over the Curling thing, move on to something else, something Americans care about more. Is there a sport that involves food? Competitive eating? On ESPN 3? Ahh, so that’s where NBC’s viewers are going.
I realize that Stephen Colbert has endorsed Curling for these games. We all make mistakes. Maybe he can make it up to us by making “The Word” something relevant to us hockey fans, something like: “F Curling, my bad.” I don’t mean to take this out on Curling, its just one of the many sports our joke of a national broadcasting channel has decided to air instead of hockey. Show hockey, on time. There aren’t that many games. It is the most popular sport at the Winter Olympics. You have no excuses. Don’t begin. Don’t start. Don’t try. You are a joke of a network and you need to realize that you have ruined much more than you have achieved. Without Cheers, Seinfeld, Friends, and The Office you have little more than a collection of terrible shows with fringe audiences. Your selection of shows is worse than the CW. If your network were a stock brokerage you would’ve gone broke during the Reagan administration.
Just because Americans don’t pronounce “about” as “aboot” and even though we have to accept Gary Bettman as a legitimate citizen, it doesn’t mean that we don’t care passionately about hockey. Well, at least some of us, but those numbers are large, and growing slowly with the addition of each Sunbelt team. Sure it's not our national sport, but no one is really sure if it’s baseball anymore or football. So who cares? It’s more interesting than any other sport in the Olympics. That should be more than enough of a reason for NBC to prioritize it as the number one sport of the games. If it’s not, here are some others:
1. Best chance of seeing Donald Sutherland in the audience. 2. Get to see Jeremy Roenick and Mike Millbury squabble 3. It can’t snow inside 4. Amazing hits 5. Might get to see how Jaromir Jagr’s mom haircut inspired his own 6. Maybe that chick Shawn White will be there with her crazy hair 7. Zamboni’s galore 8. The sounds of hockey 9. Ovechkin, Hiller, Forsberg, Selanne, Thornton, Parise, Gaborik, et al. 10. Pierre Mcguire could get hit with a puck in between the benches
No, hockey doesn’t get the respect it's due in America, at least not from the majority of the public. NBC can fail to broadcast the first HOUR of a Quarterfinal game with it’s own national hockey team, but it would never, ever dare of missing the first few laps at Talladega. Then again, maybe they did. Maybe that’s why they don’t have a contract with NASCAR anymore. Who knows? Who cares?
Give your viewers what they want NBC! Unless you don’t give a shit about your viewers and only care about ratings and advertising revenue and the bottom line. But, but, that can’t be the case. NBC cares, they have to, they show all those “The More You Know” public service announcements. They are for the public service.
This appears to be an exercise in futility. Americans will still go without live Olympic hockey coverage. Canadians will continue aboot their business and watch their hockey. NBC hasn’t only disrespect hockey, but it has disrespected it’s own country.
Watching ones national team and cheering for your country is a right a sports. We wait years for an opportunity to watch these teams. NBC has numerous networks. They have no excuse. Show us our team. Allow us our national right. Don’t deprive those people that watch your shitty shows the opportunity to enjoy some national pride. It’s not like there has been much to cheer about lately. Give us our games NBC. It’s your national duty.
Update: As of this posting, the US v. Swiss Quarterfinal game is 5 min INTO the SECOND period. NBC is airing All My Children instead of the game. The game can only be viewed on NBC online. I realize it's important to find out whether or not Debbie comes out of her coma today, but can't it wait a week?
Way to support the country, assholes.
Update2: End of 2nd. Ugh.
Update3: Ok the US won. That still doesn't let NBC off the hook.
No championship season would be complete without the presentation of the Stanely Cup rings to the players and no millenium ring collection would be complete without the newest ring of the Penguins.
The rest of the rings from this decade can still be viewed here.
My massive overstatement of a title notwithstanding, I did manage to get one of my tweets quoted in the Washington Post over the weekend. I grew up on the Washington Post. I read it every day. Tony Kornheiser was the man (although, so were these guys). I dreamed of writing a sharp, witty, insightful column that people clamored for every Tuesday and Thursday. I'm not counting anything in the Style section.
Instead, I started a blog. And I'm pretty sure that I'm now only 7,852 page views behind an average Kornheiser post. I guess you can call that progress. In the virtual world there are ample opportunities for fame, its just that now, the time frame has dropped from 15 mintues to 15 seconds. It's much easier that way. My "fame" had come and gone before I even knew about it. I didn't have to deal with the paparazzi since 1. they don't care and 2. they have no idea what I look like since I'm just a screen name. Sure, Kornheiser has a byline, a cable show, a national weekly prime time sporting event and tons of money. But has he ever had one of his tweets published (online) in the Washington Post. Well, I'm not actually sure, but I'm going to say no since he probably thinks twitter is idiotic.
Well Tony, it feels pretty damn good. Maybe not as good as that first time you were published in the print version of the Post. But we digital now, baby, and my backhanded jab at Marc-André Fleury's soul patch is the only thing people seem to be discussing. Sure its only the three other people in my cube, but they're talking a lot. Oh wait, they stopped. It's already been 15 seconds. That was quick.
The playoffs progress. Two game sevens are scheduled for tomorrow. Two game sixes commenced last night and two more are ongoing at this moment. For the pure hockey fan the daylight hours signify a waiting, a need, only satiated when the puck hits the ice later that night. But those fans live for the purity of the sport. They are the ones who will come home or go out and default to watching hockey. Those fans don't need their team to be playing to love the game. It helps. But since so many of those fans live in Toronto, they aren't used to seeing their team in the playoffs. It doesn't matter since they are just as happy to root against Montreal. Or maybe they will pull for Vancouver because of some OHL connection or because their grandkid lives in Pentiction,BC or some other city somewhere. Those are true hockey fans.
While those fans might need hockey as much as hockey needs them, they aren't as invested as Aunt Edna living in New Jersey right now who's not totally sure what icing is but is damn sure that Zach Parise is cute. Now I may not agree with her about Parise, but I will admit that such passion for an NHL team is what the playoffs are all about. They are supposed to insprire those fans that some call 'bandwagon' to rally behind their team. They are supposed to inspire a city. They are supposed to make Raleigh, NC and Calgary, AB scary places to visit. They are supposed to make you hoarse at work the next day. They are supposed to make you appreciate all those years your team missed out.
Tomorrow night will feature the first two game sevens of the 2009 playoffs. Four cities will watch and hang on every hit and every shot. On Wednesday some of those residents will go to work and get coffee and prepare for the rest of the year without the thought of hockey. Other fans will prepare for another series, another test of emotions and another step toward The Cup. And still others will be devastated. They may miss work. They may just exist in a haze. But they will survive. They will graviate back midway in the second round after the scars aren't as raw.
Some city will suffer. That is what game seven does. It ensures elimination. One team will exit. I just hope it isn't mine.
Michael Pivonka was the first person who ever tried to teach me to skate backwards. I had no idea what he was saying. I didn't understand a word. I had never played hockey and had no context for what he was trying to explain. His accent didn't help either, but it didn't matter. I was hooked.
That was in 1987. It was at Washington Capitals hockey camp. At the end of the week I got a Certificate of Completion signed by David Poile and Yvon Labre. I got my picture taken with future Hall-of-Famer Scott Stevens and I learned that you could actually play hockey if you lived below the Mason-Dixon line.
It's interesting and amazing to see the way the residents of the DC Metro area have started supporting the Caps. It helps that they have Ovechkin, Green, Backstrom, Semin and are playing as good as ever but these seeds were sewn a long time ago.
Hockey didn't just sprout in Washington, Virginia and Maryland overnight. It's been growing for a long time. The Capitals have always been active in that regard. They allowed for the creation of a hockey community and then they fostered it and watched it grow.
They are responsible for more than just putting a great team out on the ice this year. They are responsible for having made a 34-year investment in a city and in a metro area that has not only grown as an NHL community, but as a overall hockey community. And the Caps are responsible for that growth. The Caps are also directly responsible for turning out some great hockey players.
Caps fans should be proud of what the 2008-2009 team has accomplished, but they should be just as proud as what the team has accomplished for the hockey community in and around the District since they entered the league.
Unfortunately, I did find a couple photos from some of those years at Caps camp. They might be a little embarrassing, but it could’ve been worse than just the bowl cut. I could've been sitting next to Larry Murphy.
The AHL has decided to not fine Tuukka Rask of the Providence Bruins for his meltdown last Friday. Why was fining him even an option? Why wasn't there talk of giving him a bonus? It doesn't even matter if the referee got the call right. That's not the point. The poor kid is 22 years-old and lives in Providence. Rhode Island! Just look at what it's doing to him.
He's a goalie. They're known for being crazy. Any goalie will openly admit to such cerebral schizophrenia. Everyone hockey fan knows it. Tuukka just got pissed during (and after) the game because of a questionable call. He's not the first and certainly won't be the last professional goalie to throw a tantrum in an awesome display of psychotic rage.
There are much worse things he could have done. Back in the days of the Patrick Division the fans were treated to better aggression on a weekly basis. If one types "Ron Hextall Fight" into YouTube the results returned border on batshit insane.
He was one crazy goalie. He probably still is. And even Ron Hextall (Heeeeeexxx-taaaallll) was a close second to 'Battlin' Billy Smith of the Islanders when it came to down to being bonkers. But this is about Tuukka Rask and his potential.
It's not about how good a goalie he can become, but how crazy he can get. He's only 22 right now. He has a lot more crazy in him. Moving to Boston can help him take that next step. I know.
Tuukka, the fans believe in you. We dream of a day where you are butt-ending Lindy Ruff for no reason or skating down to the other crease to drop the gloves. You have shown that you have promise, but don't let it go to waste. If you need some help, I'm sure opposing fans can work in a nice "Tuuuuuuu-kkkaaaaaaa" chant. Just believe in them because they believe in you.
The trade deadline is approaching, the final quarter of the season is drawing near and it's officially time for the same old questions to begin. Who will make the playoffs? Who will miss the playoffs? Why are they still running those terrible commercials on the NHL Network? How is the playoff seeding determined? And, what is the NHL's tie-breaking formula if teams have the same number of points at the end of the regular season?
Here is the breakdown of how the standings will be determined for each Conference at the conclusion of the regular season, determined in accordance with the following priorities in the order listed:
a) First place in each of the three (3) divisions seeded 1, 2, and 3. b) The higher number of points earned by the Club. c) The greater number of games won by the Club. d) The higher number of points earned in games against each other among two (2) or more Clubs having equal standing under priority (b) and (c) ** e) The greater differential between goals scored for and against by Clubs having equal standing under priority (d).
** NOTE: For the purpose of determining standing under priority (d) for two or more tied Clubs that have not played an even number of games with one or more of the other tied Clubs, the first game played in the city that has the extra game (the “odd game”) shall not be included. When more than two Clubs are tied, the percentage of available points earned in games among each other (and not including any “odd games”) shall be used to determine standing.
That's it, plain and (relatively) simple. Don't worry, the playoffs will be here before you know it.
The 1980s were an amazing time for NHL hockey. Those who lived through it will never forget those dynasty teams that dominated the league. Those who didn't lived through it should go out and buy some DVDs because there is much to be appreciated. Watching Gretzky and Bossy on YouTube doesn't quite do them justice. There are so many other great players and Hall-of-Famers from those two teams it's almost unbelievable.
History was being made during this decade. Legends were being created by young men who would one day become immortal. Records were set that may never be broken. And the league, after mergers, expansion and realignment had begun to look more similar to the one fans now know.
It was the heyday of hockey to most that remember it. It was a great time for a great league, great players, and the greatest of teams.
Below is the continuation of the Stanley Cup Championship Ring galley featuring the rings of the 1980s.
Calgary Flames 1989 Stanley Cup Ring
Edmonton Oilers 1988 Stanley Cup Ring
Edmonton Oilers 1987 Stanley Cup Ring
Montreal Canadiens 1986 Stanley Cup Ring
Edmonton Oilers 1985 Stanley Cup Ring
Edmonton Oilers 1984 Stanley Cup Ring
New York Islanders 1983 Stanley Cup Ring
New York Islanders 1982 Stanley Cup Ring
New York Islanders 1981 Stanley Cup Ring
New York Islanders 1980 Stanley Cup Ring
Coming Next...Stanley Cup Championship Rings of the 70s
The 1990s will forever be remembered as the decade that wasn't as weird and crappy as the 80s but lacked all the awareness and accountability of the new millennium. My mayor was still doing crack, MC Hammer still had his sweet pants, Dylan from 90210 still had his less sweet sideburns, neon had made way for denim and the NHL had no problem with letting Craig MacTavish skate around looking like Bob Ross with a stick. We had no idea what we were doing to the planet and George W. Bush was just one of five guys who owned a baseball team in Texas. It was a great decade.
It was an even better decade for the those hockey players fortunate enough to obtain the most prized jewelry in the game. No I'm not talking about those limited edition Larry Murphy belt buckles. I'm talking about a Stanley Cup Championship Ring.
Below is the continuation of the Stanley Cup Championship Ring galley featuring the rings of the 1990s.
Stanley Cup Championship Rings - The New Millenium
As the Stanley Cup Playoffs approach thoughts drift to visions of captains and legends raising the cup as teammates circle around to join in the realization of their childhood dream. Nothing else in professional sports carries with it the magnitude of watching the cup hoisted in the culmination a life-long pursuit by the the greatest hockey players in the world. Those lucky enough to have their name engraved on the cup are guaranteed to have it there for at least 64 years, but one day it will be removed to make way for other champions.
One thing that will never be taken away from any player is his Stanley Cup Championship Ring. Each one is unique for each team, each city, each individual, each era, and each cup. And it is in the spirit of what it symbolizes that therinkrat.com has compiled the below gallery of Stanley Cup Championship Rings. This post has rings going back to 2000 and is the first of many posts in this series. New posts will be made regularly featuring new decades and new rings.
Update: Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Penguins, 2009 Stanley Cup Champions and new ring owners.
Pittsburgh Penguins 2009 Stanley Cup Ring
Detroit Red Wings 2008 Stanley Cup Ring
Anaheim Ducks 2007 Stanley Cup Ring
Carolina Hurricanes 2006 Stanley Cup Ring
Season Not Played
Tampa Bay Lightning 2004 Stanley Cup Ring
New Jersey Devils 2003 Stanley Cup Ring
Detroit Red Wings 2002 Stanley Cup Ring
Colorado Avalanche 2001 Stanley Cup Ring
New Jersey Devils 2000 Stanley Cup Ring
Coming soon...Stanley Cup Championship Rings of the 90s
Pond hockey came early to Boston this year. Not the sport itself - it’s still too warm for that - but the documentary Pond Hockey was screened at Boston University this week. The event was held at the Agganis Arena, serving as both a screening of the film and a tribute to Jack Falla, the celebrated hockey journalist and professor at BU.
The event was well coordinated in every way, and I don’t just write that because of the open bar. Hockey fans, players, men, women, boys and girls all came out to the screening and sat, transfixed on the screen as every level of hockey player talked about the game we all love. The two greatest active coaches in men’s college hockey even managed to make it to the festivities. Friends and rivals Jack Parker of Boston University and Jerry York of Boston College were on hand to watch the movie and show their support for the Jack Falla Memorial Fund.
But the real stars of the night were those players featured in the film. Pond Hockey is a film made for those who love the game, by guys who love the game. It is about the love of the game in its purest form. It is about hockey the way it was supposed to be played, the way it was originally played.
The film follows the journey of two teams at the US Pond Hockey Championships. But that simply serves as an extension of examining the game. Whether competitive games or whether games where none know the exact score, it is irrelevant. The documentary reminds us all that the game isn’t about suicides or two-on-three drills. It’s not about whether you are playing sober or drunk or have a bonfire going or have a warming hut or only have the sun to provide some warmth or none at all. It’s about playing ice hockey.
In an era of elite camps, travel teams, over practicing, and year round training, the player begins to forget that it should be fun. The irony is that those players are playing or practicing too much to appreciate what they are doing. Being on the pond signifies that freedom that few take the time to recognize anymore. A pond doesn’t cost $125 an hour. You don’t have to schedule time. You don’t have to go because you think your coach is going to pissed if you don’t show. You go because you would rather do nothing else.
Pond hockey is about the love of the game because anyone skating out there loves the game. He or she loves it so much it doesn’t matter how cold it is. Most of them thrive on it. They inhale the taste of winter and exhale the exhilaration of the moment in pure vapor form.
Pond hockey is not just about pond hockey. It’s about pure hockey. It is about the game, not the sport. Pond, river, backyard, parking lot or anywhere else frozen water can become a rink serves the sprit of the game and those crazy enough to play it. The film reminds us what it means to be out there on a fresh sheet. It shows us that any player - from the Great One himself to the guy who was the last cut on the high school team – can lace up a pair of skates, step onto the ice and be taken away to a special place where he can exist until his mother or wife calls him in for dinner.
At some point this season the question will need to be addressed. Based on pondering and musings throughout the Nation’s Capital I am under the impression that the question has already been raised. What are the Washington Capitals going to do about their goalie situation? I think most hockey fans understand that I’m not talking about Brent Johnson.
I write this as a former goalie and a lifelong Olaf Kolzig fan. Olie did more for the Caps than all the Murray’s put together, but even I could admit that his reflexes were diminishing and his reaction time has been slowing the past few years. He was, however, and still is, twice the goalie that Jose Theodore is. And at this same point last season, the Caps had a better starting goalie between the pipes.
The saving difference (no pun intended) this season has been the impressive play of Brent Johnson. He only seems to get better each year, drawing praise from coach Boudreau who believes Johnson to be “…better than he was when he was 25 and he’s better than when he was 29.” That sounds like improvement. Just have a look at his stats with the Caps.
At 31, Johnson is off to the best start of his tenure with the Caps and seems to be making the most of his opportunities. After acquiring Cristobal Huet at the trade deadline, Johnson was the odd man out, demoted to third string, and his future with the organization appeared uncertain.
But all that improvement does nothing for the Theodore situation. At this point it can be called a “situation”. With a 3.44 GAA, a .877 SV%, and a $4.5^ salary you are indeed in a double-quotation mark “situation”. And without some luck, some Russians and an overachieving backup your team is in a “situation” as well.
It doesn’t take a goalie coach to tell you that his angles are off and his confidence is lower than his save percentage. I have nothing against him and I don’t know anyone that does. But after over a decade with Olie as the starting goalie, the fans in Washington expect to have one of the best keepers in the game. And, as of this writing, their highest paid goalie isn’t the best on the team, let alone the league.
Brent Johnson is set to make only $812,500^ this year. With the salary cap being a concern for the Caps this year, it has to do be disappointing when the goalie on the bench makes 5.5 times the goalie on the ice. And if you don’t think he is serious about staying the number one goalie look at his media photo. Now that says “serious”.
Can Jose turn it around? Yes he can, but thus far in the season his numbers are dismal and his approval rating would be on par with the guy down the road from the Verizon Center. And if he doesn’t turn things around, I don’t see any reason why the Caps wouldn’t look to trade him. Sure salary cap room is tight, but if he doesn’t improve I wouldn’t even want him as a backup. In Theodore’s defense, the season is young, and he’s not that old. He should have plenty of pad saves left in him. Hopefully, for his sake and the caps, those saves don’t have to come in the minors
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^ hockeybuzz.com *current season, through 11/12/08
New Years Day, 1pm EST. NBC, CBC, RDS. Buffalo Sabres v. Pittsburgh Penguins. Outside.
70,000 hockey fans. 2 teams. One frozen pond. Classic.
The CBC just reported that 60,000 people are on the waiting list for tickets to the AMP Energy NHL Winter Classic. How amazing is that?
The pregame show begins at 11am EST on Tuesday, but the hype has been ongoing for months. It's nice to not be one of the only people excited about a hockey game for once. Fans, players, coaches, equipment managers, buffaloes are all waiting to see what the next installment of frozen outdoor hockey has in store for the National Hockey League. Well maybe the buffaloes themselves aren't all that interested in the game, but citizens of Buffalo seem to be jazzed about it. And for once, I share their enthusiasm.
Sabres fans might not be all that jazzed if the afternoon plays out anything like the first game of the home and home series between the two teams. Thanks to Colby Armstrong and Evgeni Malkin the Pens took it to the Sabres in the Igloo Saturday, which is probably the last thing the fans, the networks, and the buffaloes want.
As the first, outdoor regular-season NHL game to be played in the United States many fringe fans will watch their first outdoor game unlikely knowing what to expect. Sabres goalie Ryan Miller, having played outdoors for Michigan State in 2001 during the 'Cold War' provided some insight into the conditions: "I think that cold does a lot more to you than you think. Get one of those survival books, figure out what those guys do to stay alive in the wild, I guess. You can get dehydrated very quickly in the wind and the cold, just the same way you can as if it's hot out. So you have to be aware of that, try and stay as warm as possible, get the core temperature up."
The game, regardless of the temperature or conditions will be a unique memory for all types of fans. If not just for the experience of seeing teams play outdoors, there are also going to be special rule changes made to the game format according to an NHL press release:
To [rectify] any advantages or adversities created by weather conditions at Ralph Wilson Stadium during Tuesday’s AMP Energy NHL Winter Classic, the Buffalo Sabres and Pittsburgh Penguins will switch ends halfway through the third period – ensuring each team would spend the equivalent number of minutes attacking or defending each goal, the National Hockey League announced today.
If necessary, a five-minute overtime period also would be divided in half, with the teams switching ends after 2:30 of play.
Should a shootout be needed, each goaltender would be given the option of determining which goal to defend. Thus it is possible that both teams would shoot at the same goal. Once a goaltender has chosen the goal he wants to defend, he must defend that goal for every round of the shootout.
The League also announced that length of intermissions between – and timeouts during – periods may be subject to modification depending on weather and ice conditions, as may be determined by the Game Officials and/or Commissioner Gary Bettman, in consultation with representatives of the National Hockey League Players’ Association.
For those of you that eat and drink hockey, you can finally complete the icy trifecta: eating, drinking, and now sleeping hockey.
At long last PBteen (Pottery Barn Teen, for those less hip) have released their line of NHL Bedding. While hundreds of teens will be receiving these pillow covers and blankets as holiday gifts I can't help but lament over the fact that no such items were available during my teenage years. Is it possible that my awkwardness and angst could've been assuaged by a simple yet fashionable duvet cover? How different would my life be if I had been able to score with Debbie Mendez on my Capitals sham? Oh the possibilities.
It does provide some solace to know that I can go home tonight, turn off my PuckHead Lamp, and go to sleep on my Eastern Conference Pillow Case. If only I knew what had happened to Debbie Mendez.
I realize that Stephen Colbert has endorsed Curling for these games. We all make mistakes. Maybe he can make it up to us by making “The Word” something relevant to us hockey fans, something like: “F Curling, my bad.” I don’t mean to take this out on Curling, its just one of the many sports our joke of a national broadcasting channel has decided to air instead of hockey.
Just because Americans don’t pronounce “about” as “aboot” and even though we have to accept Gary Bettman as a legitimate citizen, it doesn’t mean that we don’t care passionately about hockey. Well, at least some of us, but those numbers are large, and growing slowly with the addition of each Sunbelt team. Sure it's not our national sport, but no one is really sure if it’s baseball anymore or football. So who cares? It’s more interesting than any other sport in the Olympics. That should be more than enough of a reason for NBC to prioritize it as the number one sport of the games. If it’s not, here are some others:
1. Best chance of seeing Donald Sutherland in the audience.
No, hockey doesn’t get the respect it's due in America, at least not from the majority of the public. NBC can fail to broadcast the first HOUR of a Quarterfinal game with it’s own national hockey team, but it would never, ever dare of missing the first few laps at Talladega. Then again, maybe they did. Maybe that’s why they don’t have a contract with NASCAR anymore. Who knows? Who cares?
