An Open Letter to NBC
To Whom It May Concern At The Worst Television Network in America:NBC, you officially suck. And having spoken to at least four other hockey fans I can say that all American hockey fans hate you too. Regardless of our feelings for The Office, we all hate you with extreme, vehement abhorrence.I feel like I'm about to tell off that dick from high school that thought he was the best, but that nobody really liked at all. I almost feel like I did when I wrote Domino’s to tell them their new pizza recipe still tasted like ketchup mixed with sawdust, then cooked, dropped on the floor into more sawdust, washed off with a garden hose and stuck in a box made of the same materials. This time I only have one piece of news that most Americans are already aware of: NBC sucks. Surprise, surprise, this is only an American problem. Canadians you can stop reading now and go back to worrying about the Russia – Canada Quarter Final match tonight.People of America, you have spoken…and NBC already hasn’t listened. Don’t expect NBC to realize that they are a pitiful excuse for a television network. Conan already knows this, I’m sorry if you don’t. We won’t get money for nothing, and we certainly won’t get our NBC: at least not on time.Look, I understand. Curling was cute and unique and all the rage four years ago. Then again, so were skinny jeans and nobody finds those quite so amazing anymore. Americans don’t care anymore, NBC. Get over the Curling thing, move on to something else, something Americans care about more. Is there a sport that involves food? Competitive eating? On ESPN 3? Ahh, so that’s where NBC’s viewers are going.
I realize that Stephen Colbert has endorsed Curling for these games. We all make mistakes. Maybe he can make it up to us by making “The Word” something relevant to us hockey fans, something like: “F Curling, my bad.” I don’t mean to take this out on Curling, its just one of the many sports our joke of a national broadcasting channel has decided to air instead of hockey. Show hockey, on time. There aren’t that many games. It is the most popular sport at the Winter Olympics. You have no excuses. Don’t begin. Don’t start. Don’t try. You are a joke of a network and you need to realize that you have ruined much more than you have achieved. Without Cheers, Seinfeld, Friends, and The Office you have little more than a collection of terrible shows with fringe audiences. Your selection of shows is worse than the CW. If your network were a stock brokerage you would’ve gone broke during the Reagan administration.
Just because Americans don’t pronounce “about” as “aboot” and even though we have to accept Gary Bettman as a legitimate citizen, it doesn’t mean that we don’t care passionately about hockey. Well, at least some of us, but those numbers are large, and growing slowly with the addition of each Sunbelt team. Sure it's not our national sport, but no one is really sure if it’s baseball anymore or football. So who cares? It’s more interesting than any other sport in the Olympics. That should be more than enough of a reason for NBC to prioritize it as the number one sport of the games. If it’s not, here are some others:
1. Best chance of seeing Donald Sutherland in the audience.2. Get to see Jeremy Roenick and Mike Millbury squabble3. It can’t snow inside4. Amazing hits5. Might get to see how Jaromir Jagr’s mom haircut inspired his own 6. Maybe that chick Shawn White will be there with her crazy hair7. Zamboni’s galore8. The sounds of hockey9. Ovechkin, Hiller, Forsberg, Selanne, Thornton, Parise, Gaborik, et al.10. Pierre Mcguire could get hit with a puck in between the benches
No, hockey doesn’t get the respect it's due in America, at least not from the majority of the public. NBC can fail to broadcast the first HOUR of a Quarterfinal game with it’s own national hockey team, but it would never, ever dare of missing the first few laps at Talladega. Then again, maybe they did. Maybe that’s why they don’t have a contract with NASCAR anymore. Who knows? Who cares?Give your viewers what they want NBC! Unless you don’t give a shit about your viewers and only care about ratings and advertising revenue and the bottom line. But, but, that can’t be the case. NBC cares, they have to, they show all those “The More You Know” public service announcements. They are for the public service.This appears to be an exercise in futility. Americans will still go without live Olympic hockey coverage. Canadians will continue aboot their business and watch their hockey. NBC hasn’t only disrespect hockey, but it has disrespected it’s own country.Watching ones national team and cheering for your country is a right a sports. We wait years for an opportunity to watch these teams. NBC has numerous networks. They have no excuse. Show us our team. Allow us our national right. Don’t deprive those people that watch your shitty shows the opportunity to enjoy some national pride. It’s not like there has been much to cheer about lately. Give us our games NBC. It’s your national duty.
Update: As of this posting, the US v. Swiss Quarterfinal game is 5 min INTO the SECOND period. NBC is airing All My Children instead of the game. The game can only be viewed on NBC online. I realize it's important to find out whether or not Debbie comes out of her coma today, but can't it wait a week?
Way to support the country, assholes.
Update2: End of 2nd. Ugh.
Update3: Ok the US won. That still doesn't let NBC off the hook.
Labels: hockey, NBC sucks, Olympic, rink rat, therinkrat, therinkrat.com
posted by therinkrat @ 2:51 PM
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Millenium Rings (Updated)
No championship season would be complete without the presentation of the Stanely Cup rings to the players and no millenium ring collection would be complete without the newest ring of the Penguins.
The rest of the rings from this decade can still be viewed here.
Labels: championship, rings, rink rat, Stanley Cup, therinkrat, therinkrat.com
posted by therinkrat @ 6:54 PM
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Two-Week Old Beet Salad
Hockey is back and has been back for some time now and yet I have written nothing since the Caps lost to Pittsburgh in an atrocious game 7 that left a worse taste in my mouth than two-week old beet salad. I went to the aquarium two weeks after the loss and got tossed for "verbally antagonizing" a penguin. I was just asking for him to throw my sunglasses back up to me. Sure I was yelling a little. And maybe I was calling the bird "Malkin" but you should've seen his beak. Fucker probably still has my glasses.With the passage of time and the start of a new season the pain of loss becomes the ignorace of hope. The bitter hatred of all things Pittsburgh has subsided and I can finally start talking to my uncle in Edgewood until the playoffs commence. If only that were the real reason for my lack of lackluster insight over the past few months. If only the ignorant, obnoxious, bravely-anonymous pens poster could be right for once in his basement-dwelling existence, but alas no. If a single playoff game were enough to deter me from telling off any old Patrick Division fan well then I'd probably be more of a knob than someone who can't post on a blog using his (or her) name. Thank you anonymous, you inspire me and remind me that its because of jackasses like you that I must continue to make stupid videos and provide subjective insight to every single one of my three readers. Bless you, and bless the Monongahela.And bless you too Center Ice, bless you for everyone. When you move from the Northeast to the Southwest, it's good to have Center Ice. Half the AHL used to be within two hours of my front door and now the closest team is about to move to Ontario. At least I can go see Gretzky coach a game live. What's that? He's not? Ah, I see, well sorry, they don't talk much about professional hockey around here. Now that Arizona celebrates MLK day I'm sure that it is certainly capable of having it's own hockey team. It's gotta do well once it gets going and gets a fan base.What? 2003? Really? Hemorrhaging money? Oh, right.While reading about this crazy hockey situation in the "local sports" section of the paper - which covers Padres baseball, Las Vegas Renegades semi-pro football as well as the weekend rodeo results - I came across a quote regarding the recent Coyotes bankruptcy ruling."In hockey parlance, the court is passing the puck to the NHL, who can decide to take another shot at the sale net or it can pass off the puck," wrote Judge Baum in his ruling on Wednesday, September 30th.Talk like this just has to stop. Like the situation isn't embarrassing enough for the NHL without the judge's forced and cheesy hockey metaphors. Judge Baum should leave the hockey metaphors to those ex-players who like bad puns or to the analysts that just don't care what trash comes out of his or her mouth. Only when "Smokin" Al Koken starts presiding over local bankrupcy cases will it be okay for people like Judge Baum to use hockey as the base sport for bad metaphors. We all know it was a hockey-related case but for now please just stick to baseball for all bad sports-related commentary. That is at least one decision that will make everyone happy.Labels: anonymous, beet salad, pittsburgh, rink rat, therinkrat.com
posted by therinkrat @ 6:46 PM
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Some City Will Suffer
The playoffs progress. Two game sevens are scheduled for tomorrow. Two game sixes commenced last night and two more are ongoing at this moment. For the pure hockey fan the daylight hours signify a waiting, a need, only satiated when the puck hits the ice later that night. But those fans live for the purity of the sport. They are the ones who will come home or go out and default to watching hockey. Those fans don't need their team to be playing to love the game. It helps. But since so many of those fans live in Toronto, they aren't used to seeing their team in the playoffs. It doesn't matter since they are just as happy to root against Montreal. Or maybe they will pull for Vancouver because of some OHL connection or because their grandkid lives in Pentiction,BC or some other city somewhere. Those are true hockey fans.
While those fans might need hockey as much as hockey needs them, they aren't as invested as Aunt Edna living in New Jersey right now who's not totally sure what icing is but is damn sure that Zach Parise is cute. Now I may not agree with her about Parise, but I will admit that such passion for an NHL team is what the playoffs are all about. They are supposed to insprire those fans that some call 'bandwagon' to rally behind their team. They are supposed to inspire a city. They are supposed to make Raleigh, NC and Calgary, AB scary places to visit. They are supposed to make you hoarse at work the next day. They are supposed to make you appreciate all those years your team missed out.
Tomorrow night will feature the first two game sevens of the 2009 playoffs. Four cities will watch and hang on every hit and every shot. On Wednesday some of those residents will go to work and get coffee and prepare for the rest of the year without the thought of hockey. Other fans will prepare for another series, another test of emotions and another step toward The Cup. And still others will be devastated. They may miss work. They may just exist in a haze. But they will survive. They will graviate back midway in the second round after the scars aren't as raw.
Some city will suffer. That is what game seven does. It ensures elimination. One team will exit. I just hope it isn't mine.Labels: NHL, playoffs, the rink rat, therinkrat, therinkrat.com
posted by therinkrat @ 11:02 PM
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NHL Tie-Breaking Formula
The trade deadline is approaching, the final quarter of the season is drawing near and it's officially time for the same old questions to begin. Who will make the playoffs? Who will miss the playoffs? Why are they still running those terrible commercials on the NHL Network? How is the playoff seeding determined? And, what is the NHL's tie-breaking formula if teams have the same number of points at the end of the regular season?
Here is the breakdown of how the standings will be determined for each Conference at the conclusion of the regular season, determined in accordance with the following priorities in the order listed:a) First place in each of the three (3) divisions seeded 1, 2, and 3.
b) The higher number of points earned by the Club.
c) The greater number of games won by the Club.
d) The higher number of points earned in games against each other among two (2)
or more Clubs having equal standing under priority (b) and (c) **
e) The greater differential between goals scored for and against by Clubs having
equal standing under priority (d).
** NOTE: For the purpose of determining standing under priority (d) for two or more tied Clubs that have not played an even number of games with one or more of the other tied Clubs, the first game played in the city that has the extra game (the “odd game”) shall not be included. When more than two Clubs are tied, the percentage of available points earned in games among each other (and not including any “odd games”) shall be used to determine standing.
That's it, plain and (relatively) simple. Don't worry, the playoffs will be here before you know it.
Labels: formula, NHL, playoffs, rank, regular season, rinkrat, rule, rules, seed, seeding, standings, the rink rat, therinkrat, therinkrat.com, tie, Tie-Break, Tie-Breaking, tied
posted by therinkrat @ 3:50 PM
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Stanley Cup Championship Rings - The 80s
The 1980s were an amazing time for NHL hockey. Those who lived through it will never forget those dynasty teams that dominated the league. Those who didn't lived through it should go out and buy some DVDs because there is much to be appreciated. Watching Gretzky and Bossy on YouTube doesn't quite do them justice. There are so many other great players and Hall-of-Famers from those two teams it's almost unbelievable.History was being made during this decade. Legends were being created by young men who would one day become immortal. Records were set that may never be broken. And the league, after mergers, expansion and realignment had begun to look more similar to the one fans now know.It was the heyday of hockey to most that remember it. It was a great time for a great league, great players, and the greatest of teams.Below is the continuation of the Stanley Cup Championship Ring galley featuring the rings of the 1980s.
Calgary Flames 1989 Stanley Cup Ring
Edmonton Oilers 1988 Stanley Cup Ring
Edmonton Oilers 1987 Stanley Cup Ring
Montreal Canadiens 1986 Stanley Cup Ring
Edmonton Oilers 1985 Stanley Cup Ring
Edmonton Oilers 1984 Stanley Cup Ring
New York Islanders 1983 Stanley Cup Ring
New York Islanders 1982 Stanley Cup Ring
New York Islanders 1981 Stanley Cup Ring
New York Islanders 1980 Stanley Cup Ring
Coming Next...Stanley Cup Championship Rings of the 70s
Labels: 80s, bling, Canadiens, championship, cup, Edmonton, Flames, Islanders, Isles, NHL, Oilers, ring, rings, Stanley Cup, Stars, the rink rat, therinkrat, therinkrat.com, winner
posted by therinkrat @ 9:01 PM
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Stanley Cup Championship RIngs - The 90s
The 1990s will forever be remembered as the decade that wasn't as weird and crappy as the 80s but lacked all the awareness and accountability of the new millennium. My mayor was still doing crack, MC Hammer still had his sweet pants, Dylan from 90210 still had his less sweet sideburns, neon had made way for denim and the NHL had no problem with letting Craig MacTavish skate around looking like Bob Ross with a stick. We had no idea what we were doing to the planet and George W. Bush was just one of five guys who owned a baseball team in Texas. It was a great decade.It was an even better decade for the those hockey players fortunate enough to obtain the most prized jewelry in the game. No I'm not talking about those limited edition Larry Murphy belt buckles. I'm talking about a Stanley Cup Championship Ring.Below is the continuation of the Stanley Cup Championship Ring galley featuring the rings of the 1990s.
Dallas Stars 1999 Stanley Cup Ring
Detroit Red Wings 1998 Stanley Cup Ring
Detroit Red Wings 1997 Stanley Cup Ring
Colorado Avalanche 1996 Stanley Cup Ring
New Jersey Devils 1995 Stanley Cup Ring
New York Rangers 1994 Stanley Cup Ring
Montreal Canadiens 1993 Stanley Cup Ring
Pittsburgh Penguins 1992 Stanley Cup Ring
Pittsburgh Penguins 1991 Stanley Cup Ring
Edmonton Oilers 1990 Stanley Cup Ring
Next...Stanley Cup Championship Rings of the 80s
Labels: Avalanche, avs, bling, Canadiens, championship, cup, Devils, NHL, Oilers, Penguins, Rangers, Red Wings, ring, rings, Stanley Cup, Stars, the rink rat, therinkrat, therinkrat.com, winner
posted by therinkrat @ 10:23 PM
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Stanley Cup Championship Rings - The New Millenium
As the Stanley Cup Playoffs approach thoughts drift to visions of captains and legends raising the cup as teammates circle around to join in the realization of their childhood dream. Nothing else in professional sports carries with it the magnitude of watching the cup hoisted in the culmination a life-long pursuit by the the greatest hockey players in the world. Those lucky enough to have their name engraved on the cup are guaranteed to have it there for at least 64 years, but one day it will be removed to make way for other champions.One thing that will never be taken away from any player is his Stanley Cup Championship Ring. Each one is unique for each team, each city, each individual, each era, and each cup. And it is in the spirit of what it symbolizes that therinkrat.com has compiled the below gallery of Stanley Cup Championship Rings. This post has rings going back to 2000 and is the first of many posts in this series. New posts will be made regularly featuring new decades and new rings.Update: Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Penguins, 2009 Stanley Cup Champions and new ring owners.
Pittsburgh Penguins 2009 Stanley Cup Ring
Detroit Red Wings 2008 Stanley Cup Ring
Anaheim Ducks 2007 Stanley Cup Ring
Carolina Hurricanes 2006 Stanley Cup Ring
Season Not Played
Tampa Bay Lightning 2004 Stanley Cup Ring
New Jersey Devils 2003 Stanley Cup Ring
Detroit Red Wings 2002 Stanley Cup Ring
Colorado Avalanche 2001 Stanley Cup Ring
New Jersey Devils 2000 Stanley Cup Ring
Coming soon...Stanley Cup Championship Rings of the 90s
Labels: Avalanche, avs, bling, championship, cup, Devils, Ducks, Hurricanes, Lightning, lockout, NHL, Red Wings, ring, rings, Stanley Cup, the rink rat, therinkrat, therinkrat.com, winner
posted by therinkrat @ 4:45 PM
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