Bubble Boy Blasphemy
I saw something today that deeply troubled me. Well actually I saw two troubling things, but I'm not going to count the 5 minutes I caught of a Mr. Belvedere rerun while eating lunch in the break room.What I do want to discuss focuses on the concept of taking something good and then shrinking it. This principle works with some things and not others. The key is to recognize what works with this model and what doesn't work. Things that work would be airplanes and model airplanes or cars and matchbox cars. One version is fun for some and the other version is fun for others. An even better, more relevant example might be bubble hockey which takes the precision of hockey and classically shrinks it into petite plastic perfection.
Now lets move on to something that doesn't work. I'm thinking something like this:
Look at those thumbs. Nothing about that image looks enjoyable. Some of you might argue that it would suffice as a stocking-stuffer or possibly a 5th place prize at a local 50/50 draw. I would disagree. I can envision a seemingly clam, normally mild-mannered, appreciative child reacting:
"Dad?! This sucks!"
"Son, haven't we learned that it's the thought that counts?"
"Sorry, you're right. Thanks for thinking I'm stupid enough to enjoy this trash. What are you trying to do, make me hate hockey?"
"Look, it's better than nothing. Next year you're getting coal!"
"Coal? Sweet, that much better than nothing, and much better than this thing! My fingers are killing me. I'm 8 years old and I already have carpal tunnel syndrome!"
Seriously though, wouldn't it just be easier to give a kid a couple quarters and drop him off at the mall? That way you save money in the long run on the inevitable re-constructive thumb surgery. Trust me, its better that way.
I don't believe that there exists a better way for a child to comprehend the intricacies of the Cold War like Bubble Hockey. Red plastic versus blue plastic with two guys on each team with a stick twice the size of his body. That pretty much sums it all up doesn't it?
But when you shrink it down to a laughable and frustrating size it really just downplays the importance of the entire era. Bubble hockey should remain in its purest form. No need to tarnish it because someone thinks kids want to play a cheapened version of it in the car. Let the kid play 'I Spy' or 'Car Bingo' if he or she needs some excitement.
Labels: bubble hockey, cold war, hockey, rink rat, therinkrat
posted by therinkrat @ 3:56 PM
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