The Rink Rat

Already a NHL Winter Classic

2007-12-30T00:02:00.000-05:00

New Years Day, 1pm EST. NBC, CBC, RDS. Buffalo Sabres v. Pittsburgh Penguins. Outside.

70,000 hockey fans. 2 teams. One frozen pond. Classic.

The CBC just reported that 60,000 people are on the waiting list for tickets to the AMP Energy NHL Winter Classic. How amazing is that?

The pregame show begins at 11am EST on Tuesday, but the hype has been ongoing for months. It's nice to not be one of the only people excited about a hockey game for once. Fans, players, coaches, equipment managers, buffaloes are all waiting to see what the next installment of frozen outdoor hockey has in store for the National Hockey League. Well maybe the buffaloes themselves aren't all that interested in the game, but citizens of Buffalo seem to be jazzed about it. And for once, I share their enthusiasm.

Sabres fans might not be all that jazzed if the afternoon plays out anything like the first game of the home and home series between the two teams. Thanks to Colby Armstrong and Evgeni Malkin the Pens took it to the Sabres in the Igloo Saturday, which is probably the last thing the fans, the networks, and the buffaloes want.

As the first, outdoor regular-season NHL game to be played in the United States many fringe fans will watch their first outdoor game unlikely knowing what to expect. Sabres goalie Ryan Miller, having played outdoors for Michigan State in 2001 during the 'Cold War' provided some insight into the conditions:
"I think that cold does a lot more to you than you think. Get one of those survival books, figure out what those guys do to stay alive in the wild, I guess. You can get dehydrated very quickly in the wind and the cold, just the same way you can as if it's hot out. So you have to be aware of that, try and stay as warm as possible, get the core temperature up."

The game, regardless of the temperature or conditions will be a unique memory for all types of fans. If not just for the experience of seeing teams play outdoors, there are also going to be special rule changes made to the game format according to an NHL press release:

To [rectify] any advantages or adversities created by weather conditions at Ralph Wilson Stadium during Tuesday’s AMP Energy NHL Winter Classic, the Buffalo Sabres and Pittsburgh Penguins will switch ends halfway through the third period – ensuring each team would spend the equivalent number of minutes attacking or defending each goal, the National Hockey League announced today.

If necessary, a five-minute overtime period also would be divided in half, with the teams switching ends after 2:30 of play.

Should a shootout be needed, each goaltender would be given the option of determining which goal to defend. Thus it is possible that both teams would shoot at the same goal. Once a goaltender has chosen the goal he wants to defend, he must defend that goal for every round of the shootout.

The League also announced that length of intermissions between – and timeouts during – periods may be subject to modification depending on weather and ice conditions, as may be determined by the Game Officials and/or Commissioner Gary Bettman, in consultation with representatives of the National Hockey League Players’ Association.

NHL Goalie Masks Anniversary Special

2007-12-07T20:10:00.000-05:00

No other aspect of hockey encompasses the intensity, insanity and individuality of the goaltender like the goalie mask. Unless you have suited up between the pipes yourself it is difficult to gain insight into the mind of these unique individuals. Even if you have spent the seemingly endless minutes putting on all that equipment, one can almost guarantee that your mind works entirely different than anyone else who plays the same position. For those of you fascinated with the history of the goalie mask, the design, or the motivation behind some of the artistic decisions, you are in luck.

To celebrate the anniversary of Jacques Plante becoming the first NHL goalie to regularly wear face protection, the NHL has compiled a collection of information and imagery to salute these popular padded protectors.

Featuring a brief explanation about the design along with some rich visual imagery the NHL has compiled an impressive collection that any goalie enthusiast will relish.

DISCLAIMER: Insight into the mind of a goaltender may result in confusion, disorientation, night terrors, overheating, and in extreme cases could possibly lead to a fear of Jonathan Toews.

Back to the Future: The New NHL Schedule

2007-12-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

The notable philosopher George Santayana once said that "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." And for the first time since coincidental penalties were reverted back to a 4 on 4 affair, the NHL it seems like the it has recognized that the present may not be an improvement over the past.

While many of the post-lockout changes have clearly improved the quality of the NHL product, the current, regionally-intense schedule has been a topic of debate since its initial inception. Feedback from fans and players alike has prompted the league to change the format for next year's 2008-2009 NHL season, which will adopt the following structure:

24 divisional games (3 home/3 away vs. each team in division)
40 in-conference games, but outside division (2 home/2away vs. other 10 teams)
15 non-conference games (1 game vs. each team, alternating home/away yearly)
3 non-conference "at-large" games

The new NHL Players' Association executive director Paul Kelly explains the motivation behind the new scheduling format as reported by tsn.ca:

"The reason the players feel this is one; they're tired of seeing the same guys week after week," Kelly explained to reporters on Thursday. "(And) two; they believe the fans in their buildings want to see the star players in other teams and they themselves would like to like to see other cities."

The current schedule, its third and final year, will go the way of the Dodo, the Cuban Spider Monkey and the Emperor rat. It seems unlikely that anyone will miss the schedule as much as those extinct animals but one never knows. Maybe New York area residents have enjoyed the ability to see so many Devils, Rangers and Isles games in such close proximity. Although, on second thought, it might be easier to fly from Newark to Chicago as it would be to drive from Newark to Uniondale for an after work game.

NHL Hockey Bedding (for teens!)

2007-11-27T12:17:00.000-05:00

For those of you that eat and drink hockey, you can finally complete the icy trifecta: eating, drinking, and now sleeping hockey.

At long last PBteen (Pottery Barn Teen, for those less hip) have released their line of NHL Bedding. While hundreds of teens will be receiving these pillow covers and blankets as holiday gifts I can't help but lament over the fact that no such items were available during my teenage years. Is it possible that my awkwardness and angst could've been assuaged by a simple yet fashionable duvet cover? How different would my life be if I had been able to score with Debbie Mendez on my Capitals sham? Oh the possibilities.

It does provide some solace to know that I can go home tonight, turn off my PuckHead Lamp, and go to sleep on my Eastern Conference Pillow Case. If only I knew what had happened to Debbie Mendez.

Noteworthy Night: Jussi Jokinen

2007-11-17T14:44:00.000-05:00

As the league continues to undergo the transformation in the post-lockout era we see the torch being passed from the old guard to the new. Sakic, Modano, and Roenick will soon be sitting behind the bench instead of on it. Maybe they will be watching the game from the same perspective as Steve Yzerman and Garth Snow now watch. Or maybe they will sit at the studio desk as they analyze the moves of their former teammates like Ray Ferarro. Regardless of the new location, the veteran stars of today are beginning to make way for the stars of tomorrow. Sakic, Modano and Roenick will soon be Stastny, Jokinen, and Cheechoo. The transition has already begun, but most casual fans still aren't aware of this new crop of rising stars. This new feature, "Noteworthy Nights", is an attempt to educate the causal fan about those stars who don't yet shine as bright in the hockey universe.

Last night, Jussi Jokinen had one of those performances few are capable of in the NHL. Any time a players nightly performance summary is followed by, "the last person to accomplish that was Brett Hull", it usually means he had a good night. If you consider 4 goals a good night, then we are on the same page. If you don't, well then you are probably too good for your beer league and need to find a new team.

Jokinen actually scored more goals last night (again, 4) than he had previously the entire season (3) and he ended the night with even more goals than the most prolific goal scorer in US history with 7 (Modano has 5 goals this season).

After putting up 48 (14g, 34a) last year, and 55pts (17g, 38a) during his 2005-2006 rookie season it looks as if he's in good shape to improve upon those numbers this year. Considering his 7 goals have come in just 18 games, I say that improvement is likely to occur. There are always those moments where young, improving players get the opportunity to show the league that they are ready to be considered in the next tier of NHL players. Jussi Jokinen looks as if he's ready for some consideration.

The goals and the post-game interview can been seen below.

GOAL 1

GOAL 2

GOAL 3

GOAL 4

POSTGAME INTERVIEW

2008 NHL All Star Voting Time

2007-11-14T11:36:00.000-05:00

Tis the season. The All-Star season that is. That time when all the kids gather round the computer and submit their votes for the starting five (plus a goalie) in each conference. Back in the day, before hanging chads were an issue, I remember going to the games and filling in Don Beaupre over and over as a write-in vote. No longer is that the case; and not simply because Beaupre is no longer in the league.

Now we live in an online world. No, I don't mean Second-life. I mean a world where ten clicks of the mouse determine the starting lineup and no longer ten punches with a golf pencil.

So take up your mice, click ten times and see if your vote determined the All-Stars.

Find your ballot below:

American? | Canadian? | Other?

Bubble Boy Blasphemy

2007-11-05T15:56:00.000-05:00

I saw something today that deeply troubled me. Well actually I saw two troubling things, but I'm not going to count the 5 minutes I caught of a Mr. Belvedere rerun while eating lunch in the break room.

What I do want to discuss focuses on the concept of taking something good and then shrinking it. This principle works with some things and not others. The key is to recognize what works with this model and what doesn't work. Things that work would be airplanes and model airplanes or cars and matchbox cars. One version is fun for some and the other version is fun for others. An even better, more relevant example might be bubble hockey which takes the precision of hockey and classically shrinks it into petite plastic perfection.

Now lets move on to something that doesn't work. I'm thinking something like this:

Look at those thumbs. Nothing about that image looks enjoyable. Some of you might argue that it would suffice as a stocking-stuffer or possibly a 5th place prize at a local 50/50 draw. I would disagree. I can envision a seemingly clam, normally mild-mannered, appreciative child reacting:

"Dad?! This sucks!"
"Son, haven't we learned that it's the thought that counts?"
"Sorry, you're right. Thanks for thinking I'm stupid enough to enjoy this trash. What are you trying to do, make me hate hockey?"
"Look, it's better than nothing. Next year you're getting coal!"
"Coal? Sweet, that much better than nothing, and much better than this thing! My fingers are killing me. I'm 8 years old and I already have carpal tunnel syndrome!"

Seriously though, wouldn't it just be easier to give a kid a couple quarters and drop him off at the mall? That way you save money in the long run on the inevitable re-constructive thumb surgery. Trust me, its better that way.

I don't believe that there exists a better way for a child to comprehend the intricacies of the Cold War like Bubble Hockey. Red plastic versus blue plastic with two guys on each team with a stick twice the size of his body. That pretty much sums it all up doesn't it?

But when you shrink it down to a laughable and frustrating size it really just downplays the importance of the entire era. Bubble hockey should remain in its purest form. No need to tarnish it because someone thinks kids want to play a cheapened version of it in the car. Let the kid play 'I Spy' or 'Car Bingo' if he or she needs some excitement.

Statistics, Facts and Figures on Arena Debuts

2007-10-30T19:22:00.000-04:00

With the opening of the Devils' Prudential Center come new dreams, limitless expectations, fond memories of past eras, and statistics. Heaps of statistics, and not statistics, but facts and figures as well. Ah, statistics, facts and figures, you gotta love the joy they accomplish in their simplicity. The answer to the question yet to be asked, just waiting for something to happen so they can be relevant and important. The magical unsung hero of so many sports, which appeal to the repressed mathematician or burgeoning historian in us all.

Who scored the last goal at Continental Airlines arena? Who scored the first goal there? Who scored the first goal at the new Prudential Center? Who scored the first goal in the McNichols Sports Arena? Who cares?

The answers are irrelevant. But in case you're just that curious they are as follows: Scott Gomez, Don Lever, Andrej Meszaros, Larry Skinner and possibly you. The point remains that they are out there just waiting to be uncovered like an ancient artifact. Maybe you don't care, but I find it extremely interesting that in 1974 Yvon Labre scored the first goal at what was then called the Capital Centre (as eulogized by Tony Kornheiser). I spent many games throughout my younger years sitting in that arena wondering why his number hung above me. Apparently it was because he scored their first goal at home. Maybe there are a few more reasons, but I have yet to look that thoroughly through the yearbook.

Scoring the first goal in a new arena instantly places a player into the record books, regardless of what else he accomplishes in his career. Andrej Meszaros solidified his spot last Thursday night even if he never makes it back to the Stanley Cup Finals to get his name engraved on the Cup. That first goal in an arena can be as traumatic as Jari Kurri scoring the first at The Saddledome in Calgary. It can be as undeniably perfect as Milan Hejduk scoring the first goal at the Pepsi Arena in Denver less that two years before he would celebrate a Stanley Cup Championship with Ray Bourque and those same fans.

Going down the list of first goal scorers there are plently of other recognizable names: Al MacInnis at the HP Pavillion in San Jose, Anson Carter at the Staples Center in LA, Vincent Damphousse at Bell Centre in Montreal, and Steve Yzerman at GM Place in Vancouver. But there is an equally unimpressive list of guys who where at the right place at the right time, like Steve Washburn at the Verizon Center in DC, Krzysztof Oliwa at the Philips Arena in Atlanta or even the forgettable Bruce Gardiner who scored the first goal in Columbus Blue Jackets franchise history at Nationwide Arena.

There is something special about the first goal in an arena. It creates an instant bond between player and rink, between record and book. Maybe that last one is a stretch, but whatever bond it does create became official between Andrej Meszaros and the Prudential Center last Thursday night. All that remains to be determined now is whether or not his name will be be in the "recognizable" column in another two decades. I'm guessing it will be.

New NHL Advertising Campaign

2007-10-29T19:53:00.000-04:00

Beginning tonight, Monday, October 29th, the NHL will launch a new advertising campaign featuring the new tagline, "Live Every Shift".

According to NHL.com:

The first of the TV spots features NHL stars asking “Is This The Year?” that various milestones are reached. Ryan Miller of the Buffalo Sabresand Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins askif the Stanley Cup will land in their respective city. Phoenix Coyotes head coach Wayne Gretzky asks if this is the year “that someone scores 93” goals in one season, breaking his record of 92. Eric Staal of the Carolina Hurricanes asks if this is the year we “finally figure out who is dad’s favorite,” in reference to his hockey-playing brothers.

The second spot promotes Shop.NHL.com and features the new Rbk EDGE jerseys as NHL stars make hockey-related pledges. In it, Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals vows “to make one-timers happen, way more than once,” while Vincent Lecavalier of the Tampa Bay Lightning assures that his team “will scrap for every point on the schedule.” Finally, Sidney Crosbypromises to “play for the logo on the front, not the name on the back,” of his jersey.

You can view both spots by following the links below:

"I Pledge"
"Is this the year"

NHL Testing New Heated Skate Blades

2007-10-28T16:17:00.000-04:00

According to a recently released Reuters article , "eight to 10 players are set to begin trials in mid-November" testing out a new technology of hockey skate blade geared not only to improve the speed of the game but ideally reduce fatigue among players as well.

The heated, yes heated, skate blade developed by Therma Blade Inc. of Verdun, Quebec reduces friction by heating the players' skate blade to just above freezing. That slight amount of melt creates a thin layer of water that acts as a lubricant for the blade and reduces friction between it and the ice.

Therma Blade Inc., which include Wayne Gretzky as one of its investors, accomplishes this revolutionary technological advancement though its inclusion of a microprocessor-regulated rechargeable battery attached to the blade by a tiny resistor. Try saying that three times fast.

Need more clarification? Take a look at the image below.

What do I think? Well I'm glad you asked. I don't think the NHL would be as great a game without goalie masks, curved blades, composite sticks, or any other of the less obvious improvements the game has made to help players compete at the highest levels. I see these skate blades as just another progression in the continuous evolution of the sport. Plus, there is also the fact that it's being endorsed by "The Great One".

Sweater Showdown: Bupkis

2007-10-24T23:59:00.000-04:00

Both of you reading this are probably wonding, "what happened to that good ole Sweater Showdown?" You, third person, who googled something else but ended up here and have no idea to that of which I refer are probably confused.

The Sweater Showdown consists of web site that features a bracketed competition where visitors are urged to vote on which “new” jersey he or she prefers. Although, I must mention that while at first it seemed like a novel idea it has now degraded into bupkis*.
___________________________________________________

Main Entry: bupkis
Part of Speech: n
Definition: something worthless; nothing
___________________________________________________

Why do I feel this way? What has tarnished the reputation of such a worthy attempt to combine the two great pastimes of hockey and bracketed competition? The answer to that question must be answered in two parts, each of which involves the other.

First, the Caps jersey lost. I’ll say it again. Bupkis. How can anything top what the Washington Capitals have done with their uniform this year? What? You don’t have an answer? That’s because there isn’t one. Nothing can top combining a slightly new design and classic colors with retro throwback foundation. I’m not even doing justice to what the organization was able to accomplish with the creation of their new jerseys. And yes, I mean new.

Which brings me to my second point. As the sweater showdown (yes, it has been downgraded to all lowercase) has reached the final four jerseys, it should be noted that all 4 of them are Original Six jerseys. Now, one could look at this as a good thing and take it as the voting public recognizes that the classics never need to change to be the best. And I probably would look at it the same way if the Blackhawks uniform hadn’t beat out the Caps. My issue centers more on the idea that none of the Original Six jerseys are new. They are classics, I get that, and in fact I agree, but they aren’t new. Sure the Bruins (barely) changed their font and the Hawks have different piping on their sweaters, but still, neither is actually new in a general sense.

Actually, based on that logic the Caps isn’t really new either but more a recognition of that which is classic. And I guess what I’m really saying is that they should be rewarded for that by winning the sweater showdown. At the end of the day though, it doesn’t matter. I’ll just pull on my sweet new Caps sweater with the big 8 on the back and be completely satisfied regardless of whether or not 58% of hockey fans would rather be wearing a Jonathan Toews jersey.

"bupkis." Webster's New Millennium™ Dictionary of English, Preview Edition (v 0.9.7). Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. 24 Oct. 2007. .

The Amazing Jonathan Toews (TAYVES)

2007-10-23T14:30:00.000-04:00

Even if you arrived here because you thought you were coming to an extermination site you need to take a look at this goal by Chicago Blackhawk's phenom rookie Jonathan Toews (TAYVES, JAWN-ah-thuhn).

It is an absolutely unforgettable goal by the 3rd overall pick in the 2006 NHL Draft that is on par with 'the goal' scored by Alex Ovechkin against Phoenix.

NHL Network Coming to America

2007-10-21T14:47:00.000-04:00

Attention citizens of Massachusetts, Vermont, Michigan and Minnesota: the NHL Network will soon be available in the United States. Am I forgetting any other states that actually watch hockey in America? New York and North Dakota? Ok I’ll give you those but that means I’ll have to pretend there are more than forty-three people in North Dakota with a TV.

Now I understand that the majority of the country will not care about the addition of the NHL Network to his or her broadcast provider. I also recognize that there are few people out that are going to name his or her first two children Gordie and Wayne like I am (regardless of the gender). Pardon the digression.

The point remains that it is somewhat noteworthy simply for the fact that Cablevision, Comcast, Cox Communications, DIRECTV, DISH Network and Time Warner Cable even agreed to carry the network. The press release asserts that the NHL network will now be accessible to 75 million homes. 75 million? Amazing. The numbers of people not watching hockey programming available to them is going reach record numbers.

“NHL Network’s success in Canada has paved the way for the network’s launch in the U.S.,“ said Rick Brace, President, Revenue, Business Planning and Sports for CTV Inc.

Really? Because I didn’t see any other way it was going to end up coming down to the States. If it had tanked in Canada I can’t imagine anyone thinking, “well I didn’t work in up North, lets try the US.” But I still wonder if there isn’t a bit of flawed logic to it. Let’s take something where it’s most popular and introduce it to a group of people that would rather sit and watch a guy point at suitcases for an hour. Then again, I thought the Bruins, the Islanders and the Flyers would already be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs at this point in the season, so what do I know?

Look, I don’t mean to have a negative attitude toward hockey appreciation in the United States, but there is a reality that we hockey fans tend to overlook. Canadians love hockey, its their national game. When combined with the fact that the majority of US hockey fans are involved in the hockey community, it creates a warped sense of perception. Personally I don’t get why anyone, after watching even one period of a Pee-Wee game, wouldn’t agree that it’s the greatest sport in the world. But there remains an overwhelming amount of disrespect for the sport among Americans.

Every time I step out of my hockey-filled world and have conversations about the sport with the less enlightened majority I always seem to get the same response, “hockey is okay, I just don’t like to watch it.” That is something I just don’t understand. Sure, there are other reasons as well, but not enjoying watching it would definitely be number one if that question ever made it to Family Feud.

Which brings me back to my original point about being surprised the NHL Network is coming down from Canada like an illegally smuggled vegetable and will probably receive just as much fanfare. Although, as long as they show that clip of Terry O’Reilly going into the crowd to attack that guy everything could turn out all right.

Before I end this post I first have to admit that my personal feelings about this announcement boarder on orgasmic euphoria. Upon learning that is was not only coming, but coming in HD, I treated myself to a early skate sharpening just so I could talk about it with the guy at the pro shop. The sad part is, my skates weren’t even somewhat dull.

Technorati Link

Generic Predictions

2007-10-18T11:35:00.000-04:00

Predictions aren't unique to hockey. In fact, predictions aren't unique at all. Yet, year after year, people buy publications, watch in-depth analysis and fool themselves into believing that they are absorbing something different than they did the previous year.

Yes, I'm talking about you. Not only am I talking to both of you that actually watch hockey, but I'm also talking to you the football fan, you the basketball fan (of course I only mean college), and even to you the baseball fan. The only thing that really changes among predictions between sports is the positions.

The following generic predictions might clarify what I mean:
[Please note: the below statements are intended to follow something like “Team X can be a (playoff, championship) team…]

[It helps if you can imagine someone with a scratchy, aged smokers voice narrating these predictions: think a cross between Tom Waits and Tom Sizemore]

1. If _______ can rebound from his injury that kept him out most of the season last year and become the leader his team needs.

2. If goalie _______ can step up this year and claim the number one goalie job.

3. If free agent ______ can have a career season and live up to his substantial contract.

4. With all the parity in the league (for parity, see NFL) due to the new financial structure, Team X needs youngsters _______ and _______ to prove that they matured in the off-season.

There are obviously more generic prediction formats, but I can’t cover them all during my lunch break. What really determines the quality of a prediction is the credibility of the predictee. No, “predictee” isn’t actually a real word, but I like it more than “predictor”. The point being that a well established writer or TV analyst could make a statement like, “all the Bruins’ need are a few guys to step up,” and people will believe it. While I could write that same comment, and it would be on par with me stating, “Emanuel Lewis had the potential to be a great power forward in the NBA.”

If you have decent credibility and either a cleanly shaved bald head, a grey-haired mullet, or had over 400 minutes of penalties during any season in the NHL (regardless of how long he actually lasted in the league), then almost anything you say about hockey becomes incontestable. And, it almost guarantees you a job with Versus.

The Won Ring

2007-10-16T12:38:00.000-04:00

Terrible title, I know. That's kind of the point.

Actually, I'd love to put one of the married Ducks on the spot and ask him how the Cup ring compares to his wedding ring. But,that just wouldn't be right.

Impressive ring though, I gotta admit it. Everyone except Emilio Estevez must be damn glad that logo got changed. I wonder if he got an honorary ring? He did technically lead the Ducks to their first championship.

Please note that the ring does make a reference to it being "California's First Cup". No, really? I was pretty sure the Golden Seals took the Penguins in seven games back in '69, but after actually looking at the facts it appears I'm wrong.

Only 50 copies were made of the version show below to give to the players, coaches and close personnel. More copies went out to other people throughout Anaheim but they're not as ritzy at this version:

Sweater Showdown: Quarterfinals

2007-10-14T16:59:00.000-04:00

Round 2 of the Sweater Showdown has begun and I urge you to go and vote. Nothing may be more important to the future of our society as figuring out which hockey jerseys the fans prefer. Debate that among yourselves if you don't agree with me, but that's my stance.

Only three Original Six teams remain in the showdown and two of those three are facing some pretty tight competition. But, seriously, stop reading about it and go vote for yourself. You might very well be determining the future of all society.

The Round 2 matchups are listed below:
[Round 2 Voting Ends Oct. 18th]

1 Montreal
8 Calgary
Vote!

4 Boston
12 Dallas
Vote!

3 N.Y Rangers
11 Vancouver
Vote!

2 Chicago
10 Washington
Vote!

Since Last Post...

2007-10-13T20:48:00.001-04:00

Something somewhat noteworthy happened since the last post. Yes, Al Gore was nominated for a Daytime Emmy, but that's not what I mean.

[My wife just informed me that Al Gore was actually nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, but I still think his performance as Joshua Cocksman on General Hospital deserved some recognition. Now my wife tells me he's never been on General Hospital. Whatever.]

In any case, I was referring to the Jesse Boulerice assult on Ryan Kessler. The league gave Boulerice a 25 game suspension for his cheap shot, although many people seem to think he should have to serve far more games siting in a luxury box and wearing expensive suits.

What those people may not know is the conversation that took place in the minutes leading up to the attack. A good friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, overheard the following conversation during the face off preceding the assult:

Kessler: Hey Jesse, that one of those new Carbon Fiber beauties?

Boulerice: Heck yeah, I only roll with the finest quality equipment.

Kessler: Why? You kinda suck. You don't really need it.

Boulerice: What the? What did you just say?

Kessler: Nothing, i just heard Carbon Fiber is good for your digestion.

Boulerice: Really? Then I'll give you my serving of it after the puck drops. I'm full.

Kessler: Sorry I missed that, I was waving to your Mom in the stands.

Now I never got a second source to confirm that, but my friend was sitting pretty close. And after 5 beers he swears he can lip read, so that's all I needed to hear. But take a look and judge for yourself.

What Did Dela Wear?

2007-10-09T14:04:00.000-04:00

You know you have an opinion regarding the new NHL jerseys. I know you do. With hockey fans, it's just to be expected. It doesn't mean that you like fashion, which doesn't insinuate that you like figure skating, which doesn't mean you should put a toe pick on your hockey skates. Not that there is anything wrong with that [see Brown, Bobby - My Prerogative]. Just like there is nothing wrong with ending a sentence with a preposition, right?

If you do have an opinion on jerseys and aren't afraid to admit it then I suggest you check out the jersey critiques written up by EKay: The Guy (Spin Columnist) and his gang of jersey junkies. Yes, I just busted out the term "jersey junkies". And, yes, I'm trademarking that shit.

EKay and the "Jersey Junkies"^TM critiques are broken down by conference, but even more exciting is the bracketed format being used to determine the eventual winner. I hate to admit it, but I'm a sucker for brackets.

"Jersey Junkies"^TM critiques can be found here:
[Atlantic][Northest][Southeast][Central][Northwest][Pacific]

The Round 1 matchups are listed below:
[Round 1 Voting Ends Oct. 11th]

1 Montreal
16 Columbus
Vote!

8 Calgary
9 Tampa Bay
Vote!

5 Detroit
12 Dallas
Vote!

4 Boston
13 San Jose
Vote!

6 Toronto
11 Vancouver
Vote!

3 N.Y. Rangers
14 N.Y. Islanders
Vote!

7 Pittsburgh
10 Washington
Vote!

2 Chicago
15 Florida
Vote!

I'm Workin Here

2007-10-08T23:51:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: If you work for my employer, everything you are about to read is pure fiction. At no point during my employment with said company have I, or would I, ever waste time doing anything but working diligently and efficiently.

Columbus Day treated me well, very well.

I watched hockey all afternoon. I did. And it felt damn good. Was I at home? Did I take the day off? No, not at all, I was at work all day. Then how did I watch hockey you ask? Well, I'll pretend you asked.

Apparently Center Ice became available online this year. If you are unfamiliar with Center Ice, you're either 1. Not a hockey fan, or 2. Someone living in the same general area as you were when you were born. If #2 sounds like you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as you have HDTV. If you don't have a HDTV and you love hockey I recommend you either get one or start frequenting bars that have one. Although it might be cheaper to just by your own, and probably healthier.

The video quality was impressive. It never lagged or even did anything frustratingly common with online video. Sure I killed the bandwidth for the entire office, but I needed my hockey fix. Come to think of it, a lot of people were complaining about how slow the internet was today at work. Oops.

This is where I would usually talk about the games I watched, but due to superstitious hangups, there won't be much discussion involving the Caps @ Isles. Although it must be mentioned that the game ended 2-1 with Viktor Kozlov scoring his second goal in three games during the win. If you're thinking "Wow, the Isles are lucky to still have him" then you probably aren't aware that Mr. Kozlov was signed by Washington as a free agent in the off-season. Ouch.

So much for not commenting on that game. Talking trash is that much better when you do it against the team that let you get away.

The other game I watched was Devils @ Sens, but since I could've been hypothetically watching this at work, let's say I hypothetically had a meeting. As a result, I wouldn't comment on this game since it would remind me of the meeting that deprived me of hockey.

It's getting late and with 10 games on Wednesday, I need my rest.

Let's Pretend

2007-10-05T10:15:00.000-04:00

Imagine, just for a second, that the preseason actually mattered.

Actually, while we're in dream mode, let's pretend that I was a top tier Junior player until I suffered a career-ending, let's say, knee injury. There, that should help the credibility of the preposterous path I'm about to lead you down.

Now, back to pretending that the preseason provides us some insight into which franchise will eventually hoist Lord Stanley's Cup. Who, I'd like to mention, is a friend of mine on my NHL Community blog. Pardon the digression again, but sometimes name-dropping is necessary. Sadly, he is my only friend.

Back to the point at hand. May I direct your attention to the final preseason standings below?

----------------------- TEAM STANDINGS --------------
                 Eastern Conference
                 Northeast Division
Team                (RK)  GP   W   L  OT  GF  GA  PTS
Ottawa              ( 1)   7   7   0   0  26  15   14
Montreal            ( 4)   8   4   3   1  21  24    9
Buffalo             ( 5)   6   4   2   0  22  18    8
Toronto             ( 8)   8   3   3   2  22  30    8
Boston              (15)   6   1   4   1  13  19    3
                 Southeast Division
Team                (RK)  GP   W   L  OT  GF  GA  PTS
Atlanta             ( 2)   7   5   2   0  20  15   10
Carolina            ( 3)   6   4   1   1  15  11    9
Florida             ( 7)   7   4   3   0  15  14    8
Washington          (11)   7   3   3   1  21  21    7
Tampa Bay           (13)   5   2   2   1  12  16    5
                 Atlantic Division
Team                (RK)  GP   W   L  OT  GF  GA  PTS
New Jersey          ( 5)   6   4   2   0  19  10    8
N.Y. Islanders      ( 9)   9   3   4   2  22  30    8
N.Y. Rangers        (10)   6   3   2   1  17  23    7
Philadelphia        (12)   8   3   5   0  20  24    6
Pittsburgh          (14)   6   1   3   2  17  21    4
                 Western Conference
                 Central Division
Team                (RK)  GP   W   L  OT  GF  GA  PTS
Detroit             ( 1)   9   6   3   0  34  19   12
Columbus            ( 9)   8   3   3   2  18  19    8
Nashville           (10)   6   3   2   1  14  14    7
Chicago             (12)   8   3   4   1  23  27    7
St. Louis           (14)   7   2   5   0  19  28    4
                 Pacific Division
Team                (RK)  GP   W   L  OT  GF  GA  PTS
San Jose            ( 2)   7   5   0   2  20  15   12
Dallas              ( 7)   7   4   2   1  30  28    9
Phoenix             ( 8)   8   3   2   3  21  23    9
Anaheim             (11)   7   3   3   1  17  15    7
Los Angeles         (13)   5   3   2   0  19  20    6
                 Northwest Division
Team                (RK)  GP   W   L  OT  GF  GA  PTS
Edmonton            ( 3)   7   5   2   0  25  22   10
Minnesota           ( 3)   7   5   2   0  25  19   10
Colorado            ( 5)   6   4   0   2  25  19   10
Vancouver           ( 6)   8   4   2   2  23  25   10
Calgary             (15)   8   1   5   2  13  24    4
-----------------------------------------------------

What does this tell us? Well, for one thing, it shows everyone that I'm money when it comes to cutting & pasting (I even used keyboard shortcuts). Another thing, which I think we can all agree on, is that there is a distinct possibility that the standings could unfold in just this very way.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think we can all agree that Pittsburgh will finish last in the Atlantic?

What's that?
No?
Why not?
Oh, I see.

Well, I don't know if I'm buying that Crosby-Malkin-Fleury-Gonchar-Esposito-Staal-Recchi explaination as a way of discounting the accuracy of pre-season stats. That's as ridiculous as saying the Islander's new look won't have anything with them making the playoffs?
You don't agree? No?

Okay, so I see there is some reticence in accepting my theory that pre-season rankings are meaningful. And there is a small chance I might agree, even after all I've said. But I do find it interesting that all the pre-season "Division Winners" actually have a darn good chance of winning their respective divisions (with Edmonton being the least likely as I see it).

I guess I see it like this: pre-season tells us which teams have grown since last year. Of course, that growth is somewhat contingent on the final status of last years team. And, injuries and scratches have to be factored in to the pre-season results as well, but it can provide some insight regardless.

Who knows what it will mean? Maybe nothing, but it should be mentioned that after 2 games Ottawa is 2-0 after going undefeated in the pre-season. Then again, they did play the Leafs twice. Sorry guys, but it needed to be said.

Today is the first day of the rest of the season.

2007-10-03T23:42:00.001-04:00

I'm watching a game right now. It's kind of sick. It's my 4th game of the night and my wife went to sleep hours ago, but I can't tear myself away. I think I have a problem.

I think I've always had a problem. I've just forgotten about it for the last four months.

Why am I shouting "PASS IT" at the top lof my lungs? The Stars are down by two with less than 4 minutes remaining, I'm tried, and I've already watched a weeks worth of hockey since I got home from work.

The worst part is, I could care less who wins this game. I have nothing invested in it. I don't even know anyone that lives in Dallas or Denver. I used to ski in Colorado, and since I've never been to Texas I'm a default Avs fan, but even that is a stretch.

I don't have money on the game, nor do I have any fantasy players dressed for either team.

For all intents and purposes its opening day. I'm not counting that mess over in the UK.

I have a hockey problem.

Oooh, Dallas pulled to within one goal. I think I'm now rooting for them to come back now.

2:43 remaining, and Dallas v. Colorado is the final game of the night. At least there will be a recap after the game. My wife wants me to feed the cat, but I'm pretty sure the cat can wait at least another minute and a half. She probably won't even starve to death if the game goes into OT.

Damn, I hope the game goes into OT. The Stars have pulled Turco and called a time out. The cat is glarring at me with her one open eye. She doesn't get it. If Felix Potvin was playing my cat wouldn't have a problem. Too bad for her.

A scuffle, a hook, a slash, a trip, nothing called. Did mention the crosscheck? No? Well it doesn't matter.

Game over. The Avs hold off the Stars to win their home opener. Somehow the cat knows the game ended. Oh I'm not watching the recap, not until Brian Engblom shaves his head. With no Bill Clement this year I can't even pretend to accept the travesty that comprises this Versus studio team. The only tolerable guy left is Jonesy, and just for thinking that I'm going to force myself off to bed. These guys look as if they are the three remaining Little Rascals after staying up all night drinking and then getting the crap beaten out of them. Well, except for Jonesy, he probably took a few of those guys out with him.