Two-Week Old Beet Salad
Hockey is back and has been back for some time now and yet I have written nothing since the Caps lost to Pittsburgh in an atrocious game 7 that left a worse taste in my mouth than two-week old beet salad. I went to the aquarium two weeks after the loss and got tossed for "verbally antagonizing" a penguin. I was just asking for him to throw my sunglasses back up to me. Sure I was yelling a little. And maybe I was calling the bird "Malkin" but you should've seen his beak. Fucker probably still has my glasses.With the passage of time and the start of a new season the pain of loss becomes the ignorace of hope. The bitter hatred of all things Pittsburgh has subsided and I can finally start talking to my uncle in Edgewood until the playoffs commence. If only that were the real reason for my lack of lackluster insight over the past few months. If only the ignorant, obnoxious, bravely-anonymous pens poster could be right for once in his basement-dwelling existence, but alas no. If a single playoff game were enough to deter me from telling off any old Patrick Division fan well then I'd probably be more of a knob than someone who can't post on a blog using his (or her) name. Thank you anonymous, you inspire me and remind me that its because of jackasses like you that I must continue to make stupid videos and provide subjective insight to every single one of my three readers. Bless you, and bless the Monongahela.
And bless you too Center Ice, bless you for everyone. When you move from the Northeast to the Southwest, it's good to have Center Ice. Half the AHL used to be within two hours of my front door and now the closest team is about to move to Ontario. At least I can go see Gretzky coach a game live. What's that? He's not? Ah, I see, well sorry, they don't talk much about professional hockey around here. Now that Arizona celebrates MLK day I'm sure that it is certainly capable of having it's own hockey team. It's gotta do well once it gets going and gets a fan base.
What? 2003? Really? Hemorrhaging money? Oh, right.
While reading about this crazy hockey situation in the "local sports" section of the paper - which covers Padres baseball, Las Vegas Renegades semi-pro football as well as the weekend rodeo results - I came across a quote regarding the recent Coyotes bankruptcy ruling.
"In hockey parlance, the court is passing the puck to the NHL, who can decide to take another shot at the sale net or it can pass off the puck," wrote Judge Baum in his ruling on Wednesday, September 30th.
Talk like this just has to stop. Like the situation isn't embarrassing enough for the NHL without the judge's forced and cheesy hockey metaphors. Judge Baum should leave the hockey metaphors to those ex-players who like bad puns or to the analysts that just don't care what trash comes out of his or her mouth. Only when "Smokin" Al Koken starts presiding over local bankrupcy cases will it be okay for people like Judge Baum to use hockey as the base sport for bad metaphors. We all know it was a hockey-related case but for now please just stick to baseball for all bad sports-related commentary. That is at least one decision that will make everyone happy.
Labels: anonymous, beet salad, pittsburgh, rink rat, therinkrat.com
