Generic Predictions
Predictions aren't unique to hockey. In fact, predictions aren't unique at all. Yet, year after year, people buy publications, watch in-depth analysis and fool themselves into believing that they are absorbing something different than they did the previous year.Yes, I'm talking about you. Not only am I talking to both of you that actually watch hockey, but I'm also talking to you the football fan, you the basketball fan (of course I only mean college), and even to you the baseball fan. The only thing that really changes among predictions between sports is the positions.
The following generic predictions might clarify what I mean:
[Please note: the below statements are intended to follow something like “Team X can be a (playoff, championship) team…]
[It helps if you can imagine someone with a scratchy, aged smokers voice narrating these predictions: think a cross between Tom Waits and Tom Sizemore]
1. If _______ can rebound from his injury that kept him out most of the season last year and become the leader his team needs.
2. If goalie _______ can step up this year and claim the number one goalie job.
3. If free agent ______ can have a career season and live up to his substantial contract.
4. With all the parity in the league (for parity, see NFL) due to the new financial structure, Team X needs youngsters _______ and _______ to prove that they matured in the off-season.
There are obviously more generic prediction formats, but I can’t cover them all during my lunch break. What really determines the quality of a prediction is the credibility of the predictee. No, “predictee” isn’t actually a real word, but I like it more than “predictor”. The point being that a well established writer or TV analyst could make a statement like, “all the Bruins’ need are a few guys to step up,” and people will believe it. While I could write that same comment, and it would be on par with me stating, “Emanuel Lewis had the potential to be a great power forward in the NBA.”
If you have decent credibility and either a cleanly shaved bald head, a grey-haired mullet, or had over 400 minutes of penalties during any season in the NHL (regardless of how long he actually lasted in the league), then almost anything you say about hockey becomes incontestable. And, it almost guarantees you a job with Versus.
Labels: mullet, prediction, the rink rat, therinkrat
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